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Friday, February 1, 2019

February 2019 Reading Bingo Challenge

February 2019 Reading Bingo Challenge
 How did January go? Life just seems to keep piling up, but reading continues to provide some balance to the chaos.

Just like January, February has two different versions of the challenge. On the board, there's an option for a blind date with a book. Several libraries have programs where they wrap up books and leave a detailed explanation of the book on the front. You pick one and take it home to read. A few book stores do it as well. If neither of those options are available to you, grab a friend, and trade your favorite books with each other.
Things around here have been quiet since C is in the throws of busy season, but things are still jam-packed with things to do to prep for the arrival of baby #2.

Where did you end off with last month's book challenge? Share your favorites below!

Thursday, January 31, 2019

January Reading Round Up

I completely failed this month at keeping up with the challenge. I did finish

 
I reread books constantly. I've read Harry Potter more times than I can count. It's always been a problem with some people though. People used to complain about it to me all the time in high school. Now my husband just laughs because I get so into the books and my reactions are funny I guess.

I did start Throne of Glass based on a friend's recommendation. There's no way I'm finishing by the end of today, but I figure I'll add my next read on here too.

I spent two weeks visiting my parents in Chicago, so I wasn't too busy to read. I just got distracted by a new website/app I found.
I had seen a lot of ads for Lore Olympus and thought I'd check to see if the app really cost something like the comments said or if you could read for free. Once I realized it was, I got hooked on several comics. The first nine are ones I subscribed to regularly and the bottom ones are ones I was just investigating. I binge read them but hit a wall once I caught up to where the last updates were. Most update weekly, but some more often than that. What's great is they're all fairly clean (some language and violence).

What are some of your favorite reads from this month? Are you the kind of person who rereads books or is one read through enough for you? Leave your comments below!

Monday, December 31, 2018

2018 Book Challenge and 2019 Reading Bingo

So this year, I had set the goal of reading 50 books over the course of the year. Unfortunately, I got about half way there and had a major set back in the form of:


Oathbringer was a great read, but at a massive 1,200+ pages it took a long time to get through. It's a continuation of the Way of Kings series and well worth the read. One of the best things about this book is that it is pretty easy to keep track of everybody and everything going on. I can step away from these books for a few days and come back with no troubles.

But with the new year coming, I have developed a new challenge!
Each month, I'll come out with a new challenge board for both adults and kids. Ideally, at the end of each month I'll write about all the books I read on my own and with my 2 year old.
A few months will have a bonus challenge for anyone who finishes the entire Bingo board. 

This year, I probably will keep my goal on the lower end since I'll be having baby #2 in May! We're in for a new adventure and I am terrified...and excited....and about a million other feelings. I'm hoping to queue enough posts ahead of time in order to keep the challenge going for everyone. 

As per usual, I'm going to be using Goodreads to keep track of all my reading. I'm not quite sure yet if I will do one for my little one. If I do, I'll share it here. 

From now on, I'll publish the Reading Bingo boards first day of the month and the last day of the month will be the review of what I've read. I look forward to hearing how everyone's reading goes! 

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Feeling Fake: Continuing to Hold a Box of Kleenex and Other Updates

Empathy to Help Others
Back 4 months ago, I had hoped to write a series of posts about anxiety and depression and supporting those with it. But I didn't. How can I write about something that I don't have set myself? Why try? So I floundered for a while. I've wanted to write, but haven't gotten to a place where I could. Until now.

The idea of empathy has been weighing down on me a lot over the last few months. The idea for "How to Hold a Box of Kleenex" was promising originally, but to be honest, it isn't as complex as you may think. So here is (probably) the final addition to the series. 

If you want to be there for a friend who is dealing with anxiety and depression, be empathetic. 

I feel like the video above summarizing words from this TED talk is perfect in describing empathy. My favorite line is "empathy is feeling with people." Sympathy and empathy can both go a long way to helping everyone. I also agree that empathy is a choice, BUT it is something that we all need to practice and work to develop. It takes practice!

There are many ways to improve on empathy, but I found this site that has some of the best suggestions. 
  1. Challenge yourself
  2. Get out of your usual environment
  3. Get feedback
  4. Explore the heart, not just the head (aka READ)
  5. Take a walk in another's shoes
  6. Take an interest in others
It will take time and work, but working on being empathetic will help in all areas of your life. 

Other Things to Come
I'm going to make it my goal to post once a week (minimum) on this blog. The next few posts:
This game I made for Primary this past Sunday.
Teachers Pay Teachers
Exercise to beat anxiety/depression


Friday, April 27, 2018

How to Hold a Box of Kleenex: The Power of Reaching Out to Others

My first few years in Relief Society were some of the most depressing, anxiety-filled of my life. Relief Society with church is a women's organization. Women ages 18 and older meet Sundays during the third hour of church. Many lessons revolved around bettering ourselves, our roles as women,  or the occasional church history lesson. I often felt very alone and isolated. I would try to talk to other sisters, but it was a struggle because I either wouldn't connect with them or I would be ignored completely. I would sit next to others and they would get up and move.


I had gotten to the point where I would walk out during lessons and cry. During one particular lesson on unity, everyone was talking about how united they felt with the ward and the other sisters and how easy it was. I raised my hand and asked, "How can other sisters feel more united with the ward? I know for me, even though I come to events and do visiting teaching, I feel pretty alone."

I waited out the silence a while until someone said:

"If you were really doing everything you're supposed to, your relationship with God would be enough. You don't need to have friends if you're really doing what's right."

I waited a few minutes and then I walked out. I was done. I was hoping for an empathetic ear, a solution, an idea of what to do to be accepted. Instead, I got a lovely slap in the face. Could there have been good intentions there? Probably. I don't believe people to be deliberately mean, but it still was painful.
Source
Now, this wasn't quite the hardest moment for me or the only one. There had been situations like this over the course of a few years. By the time we were moving, my resentment of Relief Society had been cemented. But part of me was still hopeful. I knew (still know) the importance of the Relief Society. I wanted to love Relief Society...or at least not hate it.

Now I am still wary of Relief Society, but things began to turn around once we moved out to California for C's new job.

Soon after we moved into our new ward, the other ladies in the ward began to reach out to me. My visiting teacher talked to me and paid attention. She didn't spend the whole visit looking for something I missed doing around the house so she could sweep in and take care of it. We had a real conversation. I began finding friends in this new group of ladies. I began to cautiously enjoy going to church again.

What changed? People began reaching out to me. Not out of obligation, but because they chose to. I was accepted.
Source
So how does this relate to anxiety and depression?

I can't speak for everyone and I am not a professional, but I know that for me when people reach out and talk to me it can really help. The fact that someone took the time to say hi and ask how things are going is very meaningful. When people reach out, I feel more human. I feel like I belong and that feeling can carry me through some tricky times. We all need to know that we matter...that we belong somewhere...that we have a purpose.

Never suppress the idea to do an act of kindness. You may never know how much that one small act can affect that person or the ones that person comes in contact with. An act of kindness is almost always paid forward in one way or another.

To finish, here is a list of things that you could do to reach out to someone in your life. If you're like me and get nervous at this sort of thing, invite a buddy to do it with you. Or come up with a reward for doing one of the following ideas. The more that you do something, the easier it gets.

1. Send a text saying hi
2. Send out an email
3. Make a phone call
4. Leave them a fun treat on their doorstep or on their desk
5. Invite them to lunch (food is always a great idea!)
6. Go to the park with them
7. Invite someone over for game night
8. Throw a party and invite them
9. Hold a movie night and invite them
10. Sit with them during church or a meeting or a class
11. Talk and Listen openly
12. Share when you are having a hard time (this helps make them more comfortable with 
              sharing their own struggles)
13. Give a hug  (with permission)
14. Write a note or letter and send it in the mail
15. Share a funny joke, story, or meme
16. Laugh together
17. Recommend a book, movie, or tv show and talk about it later
18. Share a favorite song
19. Send them a favorite quote or scripture
20. Bring them dinner

These 20 ideas just barely scratch the surface. They range in terms of cost (time and monetary) and difficulty. Your challenge is to do one of the following and share what you did in the comments. Add in how the action goes. I look forward to reading about them!

If you have other ideas on how to reach out, share them below too.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Anxiety and Depression: My First Stake Conference Talk

Recently, I was asked to give a talk at our stake conference. Stake conference is when several groups (we call "wards") get together and we have a big meeting where several people speak. I never thought that I would get asked to speak. I was asked to speak on a topic that I received an impression on. My struggle with anxiety and depression kept coming to mind, so I focused on that. A friend of me also sent a link to a blog post entitled Drowning is Quiet by Sincerely Kate that helped me shape the focus of the talk that I gave. I thought I would share my talk below and talk about the aftermath.

When I was much younger, my mom signed me up for swim lessons just as many parents do for their children. During one such lesson, the substitute teacher had me doing laps in the deeper end of the pool. I was the only kid from my class there that day, so I had plenty of space. I began swimming along. I believed enough time had passed for me to have made it to the wall, so I reached for the wall. To my surprise, my hand fell through the air and I went under. I attempted to tread water like we had been taught, but it was a struggle. I went under the water several times while I tried to get to safety. I struggled for what felt like ages when I finally made it to a spot where I could grab on. The instructor finally noticed something was amiss and came over. I told him what had happened and he became frustrated with me. He asked me why I didn’t save myself. I told him I had tried. I had tried shouting for help, but he hadn’t heard me. Nobody had heard me.

Drowning is quiet. It can happen to anyone. But there is another type of drowning that can affect us or our loved ones. According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness, one in five adults will battle mental illness in a given year. Whether it’s now or in the future, chances are many of us will come face to face with mental illness, through our personal experience or through a close loved one.
This kind of drowning is also quiet. It is hard to spot. For many, it is hard to believe. We may see someone smiling, saying everything is fine, and think nothing of it.
Picture Source
In some aspects, they may be fine; however, they may be fighting to keep their head above water. He or she may be too busy fighting, trying to keep going, to stop and ask for help.
Others may be completely upfront about it.

For many years, I have lived with anxiety and depression. I usually keep it to myself and bottle it away. I’ve heard people say things like “you’re fine”, “I don’t feel that way, so neither should you”, “you just want attention”, or one of the more hurtful, “if you were really doing what you’re supposed to, you wouldn’t feel that way.” So I stopped talking about it. I stopped looking for help. I thought of it as just a “me” problem that had to be dealt with quietly.

I’ve come to learn this is the wrong way to deal with anxiety and depression. I still bottle up my anxiety and depression, but thanks to my husband, a professional counselor, and a couple close friends, I’ve started learning to stop staying quiet. To look for help when it comes. To seek help from others. To seek comfort from our Heavenly Father, especially at the worst of times.
One of the worst lies we tell ourselves, that I am guilty of, is that Heavenly Father doesn’t care about us. However, we know we are children of our Heavenly Father and He loves us, imperfections and all.

In Alma 7: 11-12 we read,
11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

The Savior has experienced pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind. This includes mental illness. This includes physical illness. We all have someone in our corner who has felt what we’ve felt. Who understands how horrible and isolating it can feel. We are never truly alone.

A writer for LDSLivng wrote, “ It's so comforting to learn that many can receive healing from their mental illnesses or disorders through the Lord's tender mercies. But, there are also many who bear these burdens their entire life. It is also important to note that, regardless of your pain and challenges, your Heavenly Father loves you with an infinite love and depression has no bearing on your worthiness. His love and the Savior's Atonement can bring peace and lessen the burdens of your troubles. They can provide a deeper spiritual healing that will bring you the strength needed to endure your trials.”

"...Regardless of your pain and challenges, your Heavenly Father loves you with an infinite love and depression has no bearing on your worthiness. His love and the Savior's Atonement can bring peace and lessen the burdens of your troubles. They can provide a deeper spiritual healing that will bring you the strength needed to endure your trials."

So where do we go from here?

For those of you who suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other feelings of drowning, I ask that you do your best to make a sound. Talk. Say something. Speak up because it isn’t always easy to see. I speak from experience that it is way easier said than done and it’s not the natural first response, but I can also say that there is nothing wrong with letting people who love you, help you and I promise you there are people that love you no matter what you believe.

For everyone, be alert. Keep your ears, eyes, and heart open. Be a friend. Listen to those impressions/thoughts, etc that you may have to reach out. Empathy can go a lot farther than harsh words.

In Mosiah 18: 8-9 we read:
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life

We have been asked to bear one another’s burdens. To comfort each other. To mourn with each other. Sometimes even just being there can be an aide. We have been taught to love one another.

To that end, I pose this question: “If we saw someone who is drowning, wouldn’t we do anything we could to help rescue that person? Pulling a victim from the water saves a body; assisting an individual to overcome mental or emotional obstacles helps save a soul.”

After this talk, several people shared similar feelings with me. If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness, know that you are not alone.

After the end of the conference, one lady shared with me that she received the impression that I should write about what others could do to help those dealing with these kinds of things. I gave it some thought and decided that I would follow through. For the next few weeks, I have a series planned to go into this. I must add that I am not a professional and I continue to struggle with anxiety and depression on a daily basis; however, I will share what helps me. I hope that others will share their experiences here too. The comments are open for sharing! What are your experiences with mental health? What has helped you in the past?

Monday, January 15, 2018

Make Your Bed, Finding Audrey, and Fantastic Beasts: 2018 Reading Challenge


I love using OverDrive. When I was younger, I was judgmental of ebooks and audiobooks; however, I have since grown up and love using both. When I work or exercise, I get tired of listening to TV shows, so audiobooks are great for shaking things up. You can listen to them on your computer or on your phone if you have the app.
The first book of the year from OverDrive was Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I thought initially that I was going to be listening to the screenplay that had come out, but this was the textbook that was written. Surprisingly, I loved it. It did help that the guy who plays Newt in the movie was doing the reading and he was super into it. If you need something light, funny, and fast,  this book is perfect.
The second audiobook was Finding Audrey. I normally don't read realistic fiction books, but I was intrigued and downloaded it. This was immensely enjoyable. It is a glimpse into Audrey's life and her family, while she learns to live with her anxiety and depression. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years and have started down the path to try and live better and not just survive with it. The story does avoid talking about what started Audrey's journey, which can get frustrating, but more real in a way. She is still trying to get better, so it is understandable that she wouldn't want to talk about it yet.
This book was recommended to me by my mom. She read it for a book club and she really enjoyed it. It's an expansion of a speech given at the University of Texas by Admiral William H. McRaven. He goes over different principles that he learned while serving in the Navy SEALS. His points are:
                1. Start your day with a task completed
                2. You can't go it alone
                3. Only the size of your heart matters
                4. Life's not fair, drive on!
                5. Failure can make you stronger
                6. You must dare greatly
                7. Stand up to bullies
                8. Rise up to the occasion
                9. Give people hope
               10. Never, ever quit!
It's a quick read and pretty interesting. Definitely a good book while you're waiting for the doctor or on a short flight.

What are some of your favorite audiobooks or inspirational stories that you've read?